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I'm Remarrying My Abusive, Addicted, Cheating Ex-husband AGAIN

by: TXsharon

Sun Jan 13, 2008 at 10:29:49 AM CST

( - promoted by refinish69)

I'm remarrying my abusive, addicted, cheating ex-husband again because he said if I marry him one more time he'll really change this time.

We've been married to each other several times and each time I had faith and hope that things would change, but they never did and I was left broken and defeated. This time it's going to be different because he promised he will change just as soon as we're married, again.

I know he's really trying to change and he wants to change. It's not his fault that things haven't changed before. Change is hard and he has to work with and please a lot of other people. I have to be patient and reasonable and cooperate and then change can come. He says he wants to change and I think he will this time.

It's just that right now he has to keep selling that crack because he needs the money. His image is really important and it takes a lot of money to create an image flashy enough to facilitate change. That's why I've been making the payments on his BMW. But that flashy image will help him get a regular job then he'll take over those payments just as soon as he can after we get married, again.

TXsharon :: I'm Remarrying My Abusive, Addicted, Cheating Ex-husband AGAIN

It's going to be a whole lot better when we're married again. He'll start having family meetings. Even the BIG crack dealers will have a chair at our family meetings so we can all negotiate and work together. We don't have enough chairs for everyone because those chairs cost a lot of money. I won't get a chair but, unless it's one of the super-secret kind of family meetings, I get to watch.

See, the BIG crack dealers have been controlling everything and charging so much money for their crack that nobody can even make a living. But, they're going to be so happy to have a chair at our family meetings that I'm sure they will start playing fair. That's what my ex says, anyway. They'll start playing fair after we get married, again and he starts having those meetings.

There have been other times when my ex said he was going to change. When he said he was going to change before, I guess he didn't really mean it like he does this time. Those other times, after we got married, things got worse, and when I reminded him about his promise to change, he gave me a black eye, and once he knocked out a tooth. That was my fault and it was for my own good because I shouldn't have reminded him of his promises. I know he is trying and all but he just wants everybody to get along and he has years and years of experience at it. I haven't gotten that tooth fixed yet because I can't afford it. When the crack dealers start playing fair I'll have the money to get my tooth fixed; after we're married again and everything changes.

My ex likes to get in bed with those BIG crack dealers and that makes me mad as hell. He was cheating on me while I was paying for his BMW! He said it's part of the compromising we have to do and he needs their money and that BMW for his Image. I guess I'm selfish because that's a compromise I don't want to make. I have faith that this time when we get married, if I'm really good, all the cheating will stop.

I was seeing another guy for a while and he's a really nice guy. He also wants change but he said that I need to change too and make some sacrifices. According to him, those family meetings won't work because the BIG crack dealers aren't ever going to play fair. He says he won't get in bed with the BIG crack dealers and that he wants to run them right out of town! His ideas sound great but he doesn't deal crack at all so how can he buy a flashy enough change image? All he has are ideas! Without the BIG crack money we have to take responsibility and action to make the change happen. Can we do that?

Nobody likes the crack dealers because they cause a lot of problems for people, but everybody says you have to deal crack, even though it's bad, so you can buy some flashy image. Once you have that flashy image, you get to negotiate with the BIG crack dealers so they'll start playing fair. I think this time it's really going to work.

I know that other guy is right about everything. But everybody else says that I should stick with my ex because he's the one with the image that he got from the BIG crack dealer's money. The other guy's ideas seem right but it's risky and, after all, I know my ex and I know what he's like. Except, he promised that things will be different this time, after we are married again.

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I'm Remarrying My Abusive, Addicted, Cheating Ex-husband AGAIN | 3 comments

The Democratic party and voters are (4.00 / 2)

codependent, insane and addicted to cognitive dissonance.

They cry out for leaders who aren't paid protectors of special interest groups yet they continue to elect leaders who are paid protectors of special interest groups and, all the while, they expect a different result for repeating their unfortunate and misguided choices.

Barnett Shale: An Insatiable Thirst

My blog Bluedaze

by: TXsharon @ Sun Jan 13, 2008 at 10:39:17 AM CST

by: you @ soon

To post this comment click here:

Otherwise click cancel.

Sharon! (4.00 / 1)

You are just BAD girl!

by: faithchatham @ Mon Jan 14, 2008 at 08:51:56 AM CST

[ Parent ]

This diary ties into threads of an offline "fight" (4.00 / 1)

that has been circulating between me and a couple of my girl friends. One got rather peeved with me when I wasn't overly perturbed because some decent resolutions several had drafted and fought for didn't make it through the SDEC to go on the Texas Primary Ballot. My friend, like many hard working, dedicated Democratic activists, devotes lots of time in resolutions and platform committees. I don't. I'm too much of a "follow the money, show me the record" kind of person. Too much of my life was spent in ad agencies and marketing companies "crafting" the message for me to really count very much on too strong a link between what people say before they want you to do something for them and what they actually do when in the "drivers seat." I respect folks who fight for their ideals, serve on resolutions committees, and fight for the language within the party, but I don't really think it usually carries over far enough into public policy. My friend says that is how issues get to the platform and shape the party. To a degree that is true. However, I'm really a pragmatic cynic. I think candidates usually only feverently fight for and back issues which 1. they believe in or 2. further their interest or 3. further the interest of those who enable them to do what they want to (which usually translates back to 2).

My friend was very perturbed with me. She thinks that getting resolutions on the primary ballot is how we help get more folks to the polls to vote. I've never gone to vote (or stayed home from voting) because a particular resolution was or wasn't on the ballot. I will vote for those I agree with and against those I oppose once in the voting booth, yet the resolutions do not draw me out. I have specifically gone to vote for or against a constitutional amendment or bond issues. Those are "LAWS". I see resolutions more as "window dressing" and view them more as the kind of rhetoric that leads up to enticements in the moonlight --- a kind of political foreplay. From the beginning of time girls have become mothers by staking too much on what is said before the act!

Now, don't get me wrong! I do think that consistency in resolutions passed by a body reflects the views of the majority of that body. I'm just not convinced that the SDEC truly reflects a true cross-section of the views of registered Democrats in Texas. Most registered voters don't even understand who the SDEC is, how folks get elected to it, how to write a resolution and get it presented (let alone passed) by the SDEC. Most busy Texans struggle to understand the differences between what a few candidates on the ballot say. They are busy stuck in traffic, running after work errands, carting kids to soccer games and play rehearsals and day care. They are busy working two and three jobs to make ends meet. A few months of "Civics/government classes" in public school years ago didn't turn most Texans into fully equipped to function within the party process types of citizens.

This past week that truth really rated high on my rant meter. The decision of the Texas Board of Education to schedule TAKS on primary election day. Geez! Don't those boneheads (who get their pay from the state taxpayers)

I send a COMMENT on line to the Texas Education Agency. I also phoned them and ranted. Here is what I said:

You have flunked the test in citizenship and applied civics! Entrusted by the citizens of this state to teach our children about CIVICS, GOVERNMENT, PARTICIPATION in the DEMOCRATIC PROCESS, you either failed to check or chose to ignore that March 4, 2008 is a primary election day. State law requires that public buildings be made available for elections yet you chose to schedule (or approve scheduling) TAKS testing on election day. Your irresponsible, short-sighted, ignorant actions diminishes the ability of election officials and candidates to clearly communicate where the polling places will be in time for ALL CITIZENS to participate. If you allow school districts to refuse to allow the elections to be scheduled in school buildings, you are violating the law and betraying the trust of the citizens. Testing is important. Education is important. Showing our children by EXAMPLE is also important. The message you have sent is loud and clear: Elections don't really matter that much to the Texas Board of Education. Elections are an inconvenience that do not merit careful examination of dates on the calendar which ANY ELECTED OFFICIAL, POLITICAL APPOINTEE, CIVICS TEACHER, REGISTERED VOTER reserves for participating in elections.
The boneheads in your agency who scheduled TAKS testing on Election Day should be informed that it was a MISTAKE. Correct your mistake. Send a strong message to teachers, educators, pupils and your fellow citizens that your agency values our Democratic process enough to relinquish accommodate the elections on school premises March 4th. Make it a policy that all election days will be scheduled on your calendar before you begin filling in dates which are not SET BY LAW.<blockquote>
If you believe that this agency decision deserves to cause waves within the agency, here is the link to their contact form.
http://www.tea.state.tx.us/tea...
I recomomend that you also phone them. It is easier to ignore contact forms. When their switchboard also lights up the e-mail responses have greater impact.
The Texas Education Agency is located in the William Travis Building
1701 N. Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas, 78701
I agree with my friend who worked on the resolutions and spent her time and money traveling to Austin to present them to the SDEC: issues are important. I think that directly expressing opinions specifically about specific policies to decision makers and those who control the budgets, raises, (and re-election of decision makers) usually goes farther toward cementing or changing policy and impacting issues. Letters to the editor, researching records and the money trail before you empower and vote, in my opinion, does more toward furthering issues than getting a few non binding resolutions on a ballot. If I had time and energy to to everything, I'd probably enjoy the resoutions battle. I'm tired, jaded and prioritize. I'm better at channeling "controlled rants" in print and through letters and phone calls to decision makers and supporters of decision makers. It probably takes all of us operating in our own zones to get the job done. At this point, I really don't know. I'm guilty of making assumptions. I assumed that state bureaucrats would realize that election day is a date set by state law and that if TAKS testing requires a closed campus, they needed to schedule TAKS testing on some day other than election day!
Phone calls and e-mails to those who FUND and OVERSEE the Texas Education Agency are also appropriate. This is an issue which impacts Republican incumbents as well as Democrats. This is an issue which all of us can carry to incumbents, even if they don't represent us on most issues. It is in their personal interest to move on insuring that there are sites for elections.
In Rick Perry's office his point person on education is Tara Balleau (512) 799-9240. In David Dewhurst's office his point person on education is Andrea Sheridan 512) 463-0108.
They need to be urged to send directives clarifying that schools must (as public buildings) accommodate elections even if TAKS testing occurs on election day. Many communities do not have alternate sites available. (Churches and private buildings cannot be forced to accommodate elections. Public buildings can - based on state law.) If they delay on clarifying this, many county election offices and school districts will be entangled in costly lawsuits to settle the matter.