Governor, lately you've been pitching, twitching and puffing a lot of hot air about secession.
Texas is a real unique place all right and the Governor is a major contributor to its uniqueness.
Come on Governor, put your money where your mouth is. Just do it. Leave already. You can take all of your worshipers, i.e. secessionists, teabaggers, Birchers, birthers, racists and xenophobes with you.
Hit the road dude.
Leave, dude. Voters are the meanest old women you will have ever seen. You won't be packing any of our money with you when you leave, either.
But you can, Sir, help yourself to all of the creationism, witchcraft and voodoo science text books that you and your supporters put in our schools in yet another endless crusade of right wing conservative efforts to dumb down the children of Texas.
I'm sure you all will find a cozy place to establish a new Republic, Governor. Hell, Sir, you could name your new territory the New Republic of Teabagistan, Secessistan or Birchistan in honor of your strongest supporters. Below is a little reminder to help you sort out the guiding principles of your new Republic.
This would be a perfect time for you to leave Governor. After all, Bill White, Houston's former and very popular mayor raised $2.2 million last month. So far he has over $9 mil in his war chest.
There has been a great wailing and gnashing of teeth over the past day or so as those who follow the healthcare debate react to the Stupak/Some Creepy Republican Guy Amendment.
The Amendment, which is apparently intended to respond to conservative Democrats' concerns that too many women were voting for the Party in recent elections, was attached to the House's version of healthcare reform legislation that was voted out of the House this weekend.
The goal is to limit women's access to reproductive medicine services, particularly abortions; this based on the concept that citizens of good conscience shouldn't have their tax dollars used to fund activities they find morally repugnant.
At first blush, I was on the mild end of the wailing and gnashing spectrum myself...but having taken a day to mull the thing over, I'm starting to think that maybe we should take a look at the thinking behind this...and I'm also starting to think that, properly applied, Stupak's logic deserves a more important place in our own vision of how a progressive government might work.
It's Political Judo Day today, Gentle Reader, and by the time we're done here it's entirely possible that you'll see Stupak's logic in a whole new light.
It's become more or less common knowledge that US forces have been using music as an operational tool for some time now, and I've begun seeing lists of the songs that are being used either to inflict pain, to demoralize, or to just generally disorient various people in various sorts of situations.
There are others, wiser than I, who will opine as to the questions of efficacy and the moral issues surrounding these kinds of operations; I will opine, instead, as to the quality of the songs used.
Frankly, had anyone asked, I could have put the torturers onto much better musical choices, just by selecting from my own "My Music" folder--which left me thinking: "hey, it's the weekend...why not do exactly that?"
Got any psychological warfare missions planned for the weekend? Expecting to have to direct amplified sound at an angry mob in a defensive maneuver Saturday night? Planning a Halloween haunted house that goes a bit...fuurther?
Come along with me then, soldier, and I'll provide you a playlist that should do the trick in almost any foreseeable emergency.
Those among us who are familiar with the Bible will recall that Jesus Christ himself was an active member of the health care community as he traveled about the Holy Land.
It is reported that he practiced within multiple medical specialties, and his works as both an ophthalmologist and a neurologist are recounted within the verses of the Gospels.
But what if Jesus had been practicing medicine in the therapeutic environment we're familiar with today?
In today's conversation we'll be tagging along with Jesus as he takes a few calls at his HMO's Customer Care Center-and by the time we get done you should be able to bring a whole new take to those discussions you've been having about why reform matters.
(We must protect our vital (and refreshing) liquids from those who would deny us. - promoted by boadicea)
WASHINGTON (FNS) - In a startling development related to the recent disruptions of town hall meetings, FNS is now able to confirm that the Obama Administration, with the assistance of Unilever Group and Queen Beatrix, both of the Netherlands, PepsiCo, Skull And Bones, and the Bilderberg Group, is unleashing a secret plot to dispatch fleets of unmarked aircraft and helicopters to prevent teabag protesters from having access to teabags.
The goal of the plot: to disrupt protesters' plans to save America from the destruction of our health care system.
FNS reporters have been following a trail of information that includes airport noise abatement records, classified documents, and the testimony of insiders, some of whom are now willing to be publicly identified.
We'll begin our story by reporting on three events that occurred the evening of Friday, August 8th.
It has been quite some time, Gentle Reader, since we addressed the issue of political robot design, but recent events have forced us to return to the subject once again.
As you undoubtedly are aware, three high profile 'bots from Robotican™ Labs have recently experienced major failures.
It was originally thought that the problems were isolated to the Robotican™.1 Congressional Series of Devices...but it is now known that the failures also extend to the.2 Gubernatorial Series as well.
In today's story we will examine what is known about these failures, how they may impact other devices in Political Service, and what solutions might be available to address these issues.
Washington, D.C. (FNN)-In a move some are describing as a "news dump" timed to coincide with the attention being paid to President Obama's foreign trip, the Justice Department announced the Administration's plans to introduce legislation to legalize and regulate the manufacture, sales, possession, and use of what are today legally known as Schedule I drugs.
Additionally, Schedule II through Schedule V drugs will be made available to adult members of the public at their request, with a doctor's prescription no longer being required before such drugs can be dispensed.
The drugs being "legalized" through this legislation would include marijuana, LSD, heroin, cocaine, and ecstasy; also included will be all pharmaceutical drugs currently under restricted distribution: among those are Xanax, OxyContin, and Viagra.
There are but three days to go, Gentle Reader, and the McCain campaign is now down to fear and Joe The Plumber.
Those who seek to spread The Fear are resorting to fantastic schemes and amazing leaps of logic in an effort to find something to make The Fear rise in voters.
But to be honest, the crazy speculation lacks...imagination.
I believe I can present crazy speculation that is at least as interesting as what they've put out-and funnier to boot-and with that and the Halloween just past in mind we present the final weekend edition of the 2008 campaign cycle's blogging.
So, ya wanna hear a few debunked made up rumors that, frankly, have a lot more creative style?
Dad-I apologize how much you won't like the things I say here, but come one, you gotta admit she's not the sharpest ice pick in the igloo. (you like that folks? see I can pull a Palin and give a well placed shout out at any time too!)
Since you may not know me well, I will let you know that politics is a spectator sport for my family so all of us, in the room, online and via text have been eating this up tonight.
(Bottoms Up, y'all. Watch your livers. - promoted by boadicea)
Well, it is easy to tell it's September.
BBQ smoke hangs thickly in the air, the rain is getting cooler than it usually is in the summertime, and the Mariners are securely in last place.
And it is also time to return to school. For the new voter about to enter (or return to) College, all the crazy living can make you forget about important things, like...oh, I don't know...maybe an election or two.
To make sure this does not happen I'm going to put College and Politics together to create this year's first...wait for it...synchronized Sarah Palin drinking game.
So start pairing up your shotglasses, find the Scotch tape, and when you get back I'll tell you how it works.
The Call went out a little more than 2 weeks ago from Stuart Shepard director of Focus Action, the political arm of Focus on Family, to pray for 'a rain of biblical proportions' during Obama's acceptance tonight at Invesco Field.
They certainly would have been crowing tonight if there had even been a sprinkle about the power of prayer and a sign from above. As it is, they pulled the video from youtube and pretend like it never happened.
Word to the wingnuts, if you are going to petition the lord with prayer, don't pretend like it never happened when God says, "NO!"
For those who did not know, I'm a contract worker; and as a result I'm a direct beneficiary of the trend toward outsourcing.
And let me tell you, everyone's doing it. At different times I've worked for school districts, a company that makes tax preparation software, agencies of State Government...even the Navy.
So it was no surprise when I found out from the agency that I was to be assigned to a Human Resources Department to help with the overflow of employee evaluations that needed to be completed-and it was no surprise when they told me the job was like working in Hell.
I was a bit surprised, however, when it turned out they were telling the literal truth...and that's how I came to spend last week as a temp in Satan's HR Department-vetting John McCain for his annual evaluation.
Many words have been proffered regarding the FISA bill this week, and I was actually preparing an analysis of the events when, to my surprise, I received an email that made me alter my schedule completely.
I want to apologize in advance to Danny Medress, over at Democracy for America, for whom I was preparing the analysis; and all I can tell you, Danny, is that this was of such import that the schedule had to be slipped.
That said, presented here in its entirety is the memo I received ...and having read it through, I have to say I feel much safer.
I bring to you today a story that is eight years old and as recent as today's headlines.
A foolish tale of mirth and merriment it is indeed--and for those who want a real all-American Fourth of July story, well...this one fits better than a glass slipper on Cinderella's foot.
The story, as you might have guessed from the headline, starts with a simple premise and ends by paraphrasing Ronald Reagan's famous question:
Had we elected Jerry Springer in 2000 instead of George Bush the Younger, would we be better off today than we were eight years ago?
Come along for the ride, Esteemed Reader, and we shall see...
Why shouldn't we just go ahead and let Hillary be President? What have we got to lose? She has been the heir presumptive since 2006. She is entitled to be president and has proven what a great leader she will be for the next 4 years.
Follow me below this yonder fold to see why it will be a good thing.
I came across this picture on the internet and the strategic placement of the slide just screams for some sort of joke about how Republicans are made somewhere just beneath the surface.
As so many of us discover, late nights are the best time to do any serious writing that has piled up during the day. No meetings to attend, no phone calls to interrupt the flow...and most importantly, nobody else's fires to put out.
And sure enough, there I was, working away, when the phone rang.
I knew who it was going to be...Hillary.
After all, she's the only one who ever calls me at 3 AM.
(It's by GMT, of course I'm going to promote it. - promoted by boadicea)
We're watching the unraveling of an enormous political machine, one that has gone from juggernaut to joke in the space of a few months. How did all this happen? How do you go from "Grand Ole Party" to "Giving Oral Pleasure" in less than a year?
The string dangling from the Republicans' sweater turned out to be their old "Family Values" ploy. Now, you may have thought that "Family Values" was a distraction or a challenge, something like suppressing fire to keep the Democrats on the defensive. But you'd be missing the point.
I can now tell you exactly what the Republicans' phony "Family Values" rhetoric was all along:
So I'm driving into work. I'm a little late so I'm speeding. I'm constantly checking my mirrors & nervously looking around me. It's not that I going all that fast - I'm following the "5 over the limit ain't really speeding" rule.
It's just that I'm also - you know - DWIC, and it's very obvious!
I'm staying in my lane & in fact am all over the road. Some drivers looked down at me as I pass them, and I swear a few of those good citizens picked up their cell phones to report me.
I don't offer any excuse for my behavior. Fact is I would've report me too. But I'm not in the right state of mind, and I didn't realize it till I was on the freeway already.
That's when I looked around & saw that there were 8 trucks and 6 SUVs in front of me and 7 trucks and 2 SUVs behind me.
That's right. I was Driving While In a Car in the state of Texas. Y'all know it's a felony here? I'm serious!
I mean what else explains the fact that there were literally (no lie) 23 trucks and SUVs around me on a busy freeway and not one car?? With gas prices triple what they were when Bush got into office (again no lie), what else'll explain why so many Texans want 3-12 miles to the gallon and $70 to fill up every 3-4 days (>$500/mo)?
Except that driving a car in Texas is a felony. So I looked it up and guess what? It really is law!
Dan Patrick sponsored the bill and got it passed by calling it the "No More Misleading Titles in an Act" Act. He learned from his previous acts such the Baby Purchase Act what Rick Perry, John Cornyn & Faux News have known for years: some people would rather hear a lie if it's gift wrapped with the American flag than hear a truth that'd actually do this country some good.
Ah, dang it! I was so busy talking to y'all I missed the cop (in a car) who got on freeway!
Pray for me people! With habeas corpus gone, a SCOTUS gone crazy, & a Just-us Dept that ain't, I got no chance!
Except possibly to commit treason and just pay the small fine.
